Moments of significance can separate our lives into a “before” and “after.” For me, one such example is life before introducing a bidet into my home, and then every moment that’s come since. Now I cannot imagine life without a bidet toilet seat, and the absence of this innovation on any business trip or elsewhere is deeply mourned.

Though bidets date back to 18th-century France, and bidet seat attachments have been popular for decades in Japan, these devices are finally gaining popularity stateside. An increasing number of folks realize that our standard-issue bathroom habits can be quite… well, gross. A bidet’s pressurized water is highly preferable to simply smearing oneself over and over again with wadded clumps of paper.

It was my honor—seriously—to test the latest bidet-industry innovations, including a simple toilet seat add-on and an all-new modern masterpiece of all-in-one toilet technology. Call it a modern marvel, call it “buttmaxxing”—whatever you call it, count me in (especially if the bidet in question includes advanced features like a heated seat and precision oscillation).

Looking for more ideas to boost your bathroom performance? Check out our guides to the best shower water filters, best electric toothbrushes, and best eco-friendly cleaning products.